How do you increase romance in The Sims 4? The short answer is by building friendly rapport, using flirty interactions, managing Sims’ emotions, and progressively unlocking more intimate social options as the bond deepens. But let’s be real, every relationship in The Sims 4 is as unique as your Sim’s latest ill-advised hairstyle. Some couples spark instantly, others fumble awkwardly, and a few somehow manage to set the house on fire before the first kiss. Whether you’re aiming for true love, a whirlwind romance, or just a little relationship mischief, understanding the romance systems in The Sims 4 can turn awkward encounters into steamy stories worth remembering (or laughing about… or deleting from the household history).

Romantic Foundations: Befriending Before Wooing

It might be tempting to dive straight into a flirt or a bold pickup line, but The Sims 4 often rewards a friend-first approach to romance. Think of it as laying the groundwork: every successful relationship needs trust, after all. Start with friendly chats – “Get to Know,” “Ask About Day,” and simple compliments. Once your Sim is comfortable, mix in light flirting between friendly interactions rather than spamming romantic socials one after another.

Why? Because the game tracks conversational tone. A string of failed flirts makes things awkward, and if a Sim isn’t interested (say, due to their orientation or jealousy trait), this can tank both the friendship and romantic bars quickly. If that happens, pull back: apologize, have a normal conversation, and try again later. Sometimes romance is about timing and chemistry, even for pixels.

Emotions: The Real Game Changer

Romance in The Sims 4 is much more than picking from a list of social interactions; it’s about harnessing your Sim’s emotions. The Flirty mood is the holy grail for relationship growth, making not just romantic actions more likely to succeed but also unlocking exclusive, high-impact options like “First Kiss” or “Make a Move.” Getting flirty is surprisingly easy:

  • Freshen up in a mirror for a “Feeling Flirty” buff
  • Discuss romantic interests (base game) or drink Steamy Ginseng Tea
  • Use romantic décor (think: paintings, flowers, or the infamous heart bed)
  • Take a steamy shower for a powerful flirty boost

On the flip side, negative emotions like Embarrassed or Angry can make romantic overtures fail spectacularly. If things go sour mid-date, have your Sim chill with a calming activity or take some alone time before trying again.

Mastering the Romantic Skill Ladder

Unlike some other Sims skills, “Romance” isn’t a formal stat you can train. Instead, your progress is measured by the pink Romance bar between Sims. Building this up unlocks new social interactions, eventually paving the way for dating, kissing, WooHoo, or even proposing. Here’s how to climb:

  • Flirt, Compliment Appearance, Exchange Numbers: The bread-and-butter of budding connections. These are safe choices at low relationship levels.
  • Give Flowers: Works wonders for jump-starting a romantic bond, cheaper than dinner out and just as effective.
  • Ask if Single, Ask About Romantic Interests: Useful not just for gossip, but for avoiding awkward love triangles or forbidden advances.
  • Embrace and Kiss: These open up after a few successful flirts. Time them for when the conversation is already flirty.

Work your way up to more meaningful milestones like “First Kiss,” “Invite to Stay the Night,” or “Ask to Be Girlfriend/Boyfriend.” If you want specifics and strategy, this romance guide has a handy breakdown of romance-bar milestones and what each unlocks.

What About Sims’ Preferences and Orientation?

Starting with the “Gender & Orientation” update, Sims can express gender preferences for romance and WooHoo. If you’re pursuing a romantic goal, it’s smart to ask about romantic preferences early on. Not every Sim is open to every kind of relationship, which adds depth but also new challenges. Some Sims may reject flirts outright, no matter how high the friendship or how flirty your Sim is feeling.

Unsure? Use “Ask About Romantic Interests” or check for relevant traits. And as in life, rejection is not the end: you can remain friends, look elsewhere, or try again later if tastes change (Sims sometimes do surprise you).

To read more about attraction and romance options, try EA’s official guide on gender, romance, and attraction.

Advanced Strategies: From WooHoo to Power Couples

The romance system grows even deeper if you own certain expansions like Growing Together. Sims may gain unique social preferences, family dynamics, or romance quirks that shape their interactions. A Sim who dislikes physical affection won’t enjoy public displays of affection, for example, and trying to force it usually backfires.

Shared activities matter. Discuss interests, favorite colors, and music. Invite a would-be partner for chess, a dance, or a meal at the local café. Every positive joint activity boosts both friendship and, potentially, romance progress.

If you’re looking to go from casual to committed, propose a date! The Sims 4 offers themed venues and date goals. Completing date objectives (like sitting and talking together, flirting, or sharing a meal) rapidly boosts the romance bar.

Party Time and Group Romance: Friendship-Minded Events

If you have a busy household or want your Sim to explore multiple connections, throw events like House Parties or Kava Parties. These aren’t just for fun – they give multiple Sims relationship boosts through dancing, eating, and socializing. Co-hosts benefit even if they’re not talking to everyone at once. It’s also low-risk: failed flirts are less awkward in a crowd!

For a detailed breakdown of multi-Sim relationship strategies, check out this group relationship guide.

Cheaters and Shortcuts: Using Cheats for Instant Results

Impatient? Or maybe you’re telling a story and want two Sims to go from strangers to Soulmates instantly. The Sims 4 cheat console has your back:

  1. Press Ctrl+Shift+C (or all four triggers on console) to open the cheat window.
  2. Type testingcheats true and press Enter.
  3. Enter modifyrelationship [YourSimFirstName] [YourSimLastName] [TargetSimFirstName] [TargetSimLastName] X LTR_Romance_Main where “X” is the value (e.g. 100 maxes out romance).

Example: modifyrelationship Bella Goth Mortimer Goth 100 LTR_Romance_Main. Pop! Instant couple, with all the kissing, cuddling, and awkward family dinners that might entail. More details and creative uses of relationship cheats are described in this cheats guide.

The Power of Traits, Aspirations, and Rewards

Traits play a huge role in shaping romantic journeys. A Sim with the “Romantic” trait is always up for love, often boosting the speed and effectiveness of flirty actions. The “Alluring” trait, gained from the Serial Romantic aspiration, makes other Sims far more receptive to romantic attempts.

Conversely, Sims who are Noncommittal or Loner may take longer to warm up, or require space after too many social interactions. You can also purchase Reward Traits like “Beguiling” (makes Sims instantly flirty) or “Great Kisser” to supercharge smooch effectiveness. If you want more details, this article on traits and relationships is a goldmine.

FAQ: Relationship Realities in The Sims 4

What if my Sim keeps getting rejected?

Rejections usually happen because of low relationship status, incompatible orientations, or bad timing. Build up the friendship bar first, check for mood problems (avoid flirty actions when Sims are angry, sad, or embarrassed), and consider asking about romantic interest before proceeding. Sometimes, it’s simply that the other Sim isn’t interested – and that’s okay. Try with someone else or revisit later!

Can I have multiple romantic relationships at once?

Absolutely! The Sims 4 allows polyamorous shenanigans, but beware: jealousy is real. Unless your Sim or their romantic targets have the “Polyamorous” or “Noncommittal” attribute (or are under the influence of certain mods), public romantic displays can trigger negative reactions, even full-on chaos. Try to keep relationships discrete, or use social events to obfuscate flings.

How do I propose or get married?

Build the friendship and romance bars high (about 50% at minimum, but more is better), ensure the relationship is going well (ideally a “Very Flirty” conversation), and then select “Propose.” Once engaged, you can plan a wedding event via the phone or calendar. Wedding success depends on mood, relationship, and – sometimes – picking the right location and outfits.

Does aspiration or reward traits affect romance?

They sure do. Traits like “Romantic,” aspiration-based traits like “Alluring,” or reward traits such as “Great Kisser” make romance actions more likely to succeed and boost romantic progress. Aspiring to be a Serial Romantic or a Soulmate unlocks powerful romance-boosting tools as you complete milestones.

How does WooHoo work, and does it build relationships?

WooHoo (The Sims’ all-purpose euphemism for, well, adult fun) unlocks once the romance bar is high enough and your Sims’ relationship is steady. WooHoo boosts both romance and friendship metrics. It also creates positive moodlets and, depending on where you do it (rocket ship date, anyone?), can open up fun legacy or story options. For a full rundown, try this WooHoo guide.

What expansions or packs make romance more interesting?

Expansions like Growing Together add layers to romance – including family dynamics, likes/dislikes, milestones, and advanced events. Packs such as “City Living,” “Get Together,” and “Seasons” can spice up where and how relationships form, giving you even more options to explore love stories of all shapes. If you want a full comparison, check out this attraction and romance feature guide.

Crafting Legendary Romances in The Sims 4

In the end, increasing romance in The Sims 4 is equal parts strategy, creativity, and a bit of Sims magic. Whether you’re orchestrating a rooftop proposal at dawn, engineering a soap-opera-worthy love triangle, or just trying to get your shy Sim to work up the nerve for a first kiss, the game rewards patience, emotional awareness, and a good sense of humor. With the right approach – and maybe a little backup from relationship cheats or aspiration rewards for that extra edge – your Sims’ love lives can be the stuff of digital legend.

Want to dive even deeper? The community has some outstanding guides and ideas for every kind of virtual love story you could imagine. For more relationship mechanics and inspiration, see Carl’s Sims Guide to Relationship Cheats, Sims Community’s Relationship Guide, and Screen Rant’s tips for building relationships.